Marion Kennedy taught me how to hook twenty years ago
Dear Diary , It will be twenty years ago this fall, that Marion Kennedy taught me how to hook rugs. Marion was very strong minded , and quite abrupt. Essensially she showed me the stitch, and said, “now go finish it.” When I questioned whether I should pull something out, she said, “just finish that one, you’ll get better as you go along.” At the time I was twenty five, and Marion was about sixty five. We were generations apart but she had an appreciation that I might want to approach rug hooking in my own way. She taught me how, and let me find out the rest. She never imposed a bunch of rules. I only met Marion three times in the next twenty years. Once she came to a hook in we had in Amherst, the next time she came with her good friend Kay Purdy to my home for the afternoon, and I drew her a pattern of hockey players. Last summer I stopped to visit her at a nursing home where she resided after becoming ill. This winter, her daughter called me to let me know that her mother had died and that I was invited to join them for a memorial service at the Pictou Lodge in July. I went last Friday to learn about and celebrate Marions’ life. Though I only knew Marion a little, I did know her. She was a woman who said what she felt. She was expressive, kind, and giving. It was clear that she was a good mother, who raised a good family, and pursued her interests and passions through out her life. In a slide show put together by her family they featured many of the rugs she had made over the years. I could not help but think, all we leave behind is what we make of our lives, what we create, our children, our handwork, our love and forgiveness, our spirit.
I was honoured to have been included in such an intimate portrait of Marion. It was held at the Pictou Lodge, on the shores of the Northumberland straight, where Marion liked to take people for lunch. Her son, and daughter, spoke lovingly about her, and her son in law held a sweetgrass ceremony. On the table was a beautiful photograph of Marion, and a recipe booklet that she had developed when she ran a strawberry farm in Ontario. I learned that she raised her children in Ontario, and moved back to Nova Scotia later on in life. I learned that she picked up rug hooking after her children had left home, and she was feeling the empty nest. I learned that she liked clothes, knew how to hold a grudge, but could forgive. Alot of the things I learned about Marion were things I knew from meeting her just a few times. I think that through just a few encounters, I did know the real Marion. I was reminded that though it might not seem like you really know someone well, sometimes you do. Some people are so much themselves all the time, no cover, no show, that small encounters reveal alot. I love this kinfd of person, the kind that Marion was.
I was also reminded that small encounters change lives in dramatic ways. Marion and I, though we met only a few times had a great respect for each other. She, in a few moments with a few words changed the course of my life, and lead me to fine place. A place where I could become fully myself. She taught me that I own my own hands and I am the only one who should tell me how to use them. She taught me that rules in rug hooking are for the maker of the rug to decide, not a teacher or a guild, or a book. She taught me resolve. Though she never talked about any of these things at any length, I felt them in the strength of her hands and in the light of her eyes. She might have seemed grumpy but she sparkled, a most interesting combination.
We are here on this earth, my mother in law, always says, to be good to each other. I agree. I think we are here, to facilitate each others journeys, to teach, and to show, to learn and to lead. Marion Kennedy facilitated mine, and I am lucky to have met her. She made a difference in my life. Our encounters were few but they mattered. With each other, we were each ourselves, accepting of each other. She lead me gently, and freely let me go where I wanted with a craft so that it mattered to me. Marion was always proud to acknowledge that she had taught me how to hook, and I was always proud to acknowledge that she had.
Marion Kennedy's Strawberry recipes
I enjoyed your post on this special person in your life. I always marvel at how often in all of our lives that a person will influence us on our journey. Most of the times, they aren’t even aware of it but we never seem to forget them nor, what they taught us.
Thank you for sharing
What a beautiful piece of writing that you about our mother. It has allowed me to cry and this is good. We were so honoured to have you at this memorial and appreciate the effort that you made to come this distance. So many people in this world do not take the time anymore to give respect to people. I would have liked to have spoken to you further but I was in a little bit of a blur that day.
Mom left us the legacy to always try something new and follow your dreams. I remember after I had my first son Aaron and I wanted to go somewhere and she told me to pack the baby and just go and don’t ever stop.
She always wanted Jane and I to hook rugs but we were always too busy. Jane and I have decided once we retire that we are going to take a course from you and actually hook a rug.
Thanks again for coming and your beautiful piece of writing. I just love reading your blog!
Carolyn
What a nice surprise, you can come anytime. I learned so much about your mother and her family that day. I will teach you.
Thank you so much for sharing. Everything you said was spot on, she was all that and more! There is something you may not know about that huge hockey mat that you drew for her. It was her very last project and I watched her work on it during the year of 2004 into the winter/spring of 2005. It was the year I lived with her during my immigration process. It was a bitter sweet year. She was in deep mourning still for my Dad who was the love of her life and I was newly married, but separated from my groom. It was the year I watched my mom decline in so many ways in her ability to look after herself and yet I would sit and watch her hook that massive rug, thinking to myself, there is no way she is ever going to finish it. I would secretly get mad at myself for thinking such a thought. It was painful to see her try and hook and really not get too far. I could see the decline in her hooking fail and it saddened me so to see this so visually. She even went to school that spring and roomed with Kay but really didn’t hook too much, but did enjoy the fellowship and people that knew her work in the past were so kind to her to encourage her. I just felt sad for her at the time. Now, 5 years later I have a new perspective on the matter. I admire her desire to take on such a huge project and I remember her telling me this one was going to be for her grandson, and I just thought sadly, how is she going to get this done? She never did, but what I remember now how her spirit was so wanting to finish this, yet she just was not capable. She never once gave up on trying to finish it. Some days she would hook for maybe a couple minutes. I think she knew deep down it was not he best work but never said anything. In the end asI saw my mom fail and I wanted that woman back and I would try and encourage her to hook, she’d say, maybe tomorrow I will, but not today, I’m too busy. That was one of her favourite expressions while she’d sit and look out the window or read the paper. What I take away from that is a message that we should never truly give up on anything that really seems pretty hopeless, mom didn’t, and I’m going to try and remember that lesson for the rest of my life. And on that note, I actually did start a rug hooking which I came really close to finishing but I ran out of the colour and mom was going to dye some for me but when I asked her to, her dying years were over, but, I WILL some day finish it, in her honour, because she taught me how to rug basically the same way she taught you Deanne. It felt quite empowering at the time because I thought as she taught me the basics an then said, now hook, I thought, well, I can do this!
Thank you Jane. It is nice to hear your story, and learn a little a more about her. Really lovely of you and your sister to add to this piece I wrote about your mom. If you need a piece of wool I am sure I have it. Just mail me the swatch.